


lithium

by piehunter



Category: US Comedians RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual John Mulaney, First Time, Gay Sex, Lowercase, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 13:39:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17468633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piehunter/pseuds/piehunter
Summary: john and isaac rock out to lithium. porn insues.





	lithium

**Author's Note:**

> first of all, john, if you're reading this, stop now . i love you . bless me father for i have sinned.  
> second: i saw that there weren't any john mulaney smut fics (that i could find) so yeah . let there be gay !  
> third: it's in lowercase because fuck it  
> fourth: dad if you see this please don't disown me thanks

"how punk of you," i spoke, closing the door to john and i's dorm quietly as nirvana blared out of the speakers, his body flat on the bed as he smoked a cigarette.

 

"i know. i'm a public nuisance now," he replied flatly, and i grinned, flopping down on my bed as well.

 

"public nuisances don't go to improv practice."

 

"this one does," he cast this cheeky smile over at me, smoke escaping his open mouth, and i felt my stomach flutter. _shit!_

 

he took another drag of the cigarette, this time offering it to me. i took it and puffed a little, blowing my smoke towards the ceiling.

 

we sat in silence for a while, passing the cig until it went out, then just singing along poorly to nirvana, laughing when we imitated the guitar solos.

 

john jumped up from his bed when _lithium_ came on, hopping to the beat in a way only john fucking mulaney could make hot.

 

he kept yodelling along, and i grabbed some pencils, imitating the simple drum pattern in the background on a nearby desk.

 

when it rose to the chorus, we started yelling, laughing at every pause and throwing the pencils down. we clutched at each other, doubling over with laughter. by the time the song was over, we were rolling on the floor laughing.

 

was anything especially funny?

 

not really. i think it was just excitement and just pure joy of being around each other that got us worked up, especially to john's favorite song.

 

the room was quiet except for us getting our shit back together, huffing out little laughs. i stood up and dismounted my bass from the wall.

 

"we're starting a band!" i announced jokingly, and he smiled.

 

"ah yes. we'll have one single, which would be a cover from another artist. _the_ _mulaney's_ _._ "

 

"brilliant name. okay gotta tune..."

 

i fiddled with the knobs a little, plucking the strings until i got the pitch to where i wanted it.

 

i started out the beginning, strumming along accordingly.

 

he started singing right on cue, sounding somewhat like a dying pig, but it was sorta cute. it was cute in a john mulaney sort of way.

 

"YEAH--" we started the chorus together, sounding like a pack of wild, rabies-infected raccoons at 4am, but it was still funny.

 

i sat down on john's bed, and he sat right beside me, rocking out as he mumbled out the words.

 

i looked up at him to see his reaction to me playing, and he was looking dead in my eyes, still somewhat muttering the words.

 

i kept playing, even though there was a stillness between us. a moment of tense energy captured the air.

 

he glanced at my lips and licked his. i only then realized i had actually stopped playing.

 

"i'm so horny," he crooned, "that's okay, my will is good--"

 

before i could reply to how fucking dumb that was to say after he eye-fucked me, he pressed his lips to mine. my heart lept into my throat, but i followed my first instinct and kissed him back, my hand resting on the nape of his neck.

 

the movements were a little stunted with a guitar in the way, but he pushed me back after a moment, fear in his eyes.

 

"isaac--"

 

"i'll just take the guitar off. one moment."

 

i placed it on the rack, making sure it was secured correctly, then turned back to john, who looked afraid for his life.

 

"i won't hurt you, john. if you don't want this to happen, just tell me no and that will be the end of it, no questions asked."

 

he shifted his gaze.

 

"i-i want it."

 

i sat down next to him, placing my thigh against his, our faces close.

 

"let's try this again," i whispered, looking him in the eye as i ran a thumb over his knee, then a hand up his thigh, then rested at his hip, leaning in dangerously close.

 

he smelled of smoke and what i'd assume was candy, but also had an underlying whiff of _john_ that drove me wild.

 

he glanced at my lips once again, his eyes wide and fearful. i could tell by the way he leaned into my touches that he wanted it, but his catholic upbringing really drilled the "gay bad" idea in there.

 

i ran my hand up his back, to his lean shoulders. he flicked his tongue out to wet his lips again, his pupils dilating.

 

he leaned in and kissed me. he was actually a pretty good kisser, he just had never kissed a guy, it seemed like. he was all delicate and soft against my lips, as if i were a woman.

 

i kissed him back easily, tilting my head just the slightest to get a better angle.

 

he moaned softly into the kiss, and i smiled, leaning my body even further into his space.

 

he wrapped his arms around me, and i hinted my tongue at the seam of his lips, awaiting permission.

 

he pulled back just a tiny bit, staring at me with red cheeks and lips.

 

he didn't say anything, he just laid back on the bed, and i straddled him, kissing him again. this time his mouth was open, and i slipped my tongue inside, running my hand down his side and resting it on his hip.

 

he swung an arm over my shoulders, bringing me down further. our noses bumped, and he laughed hoarsely for a moment before i moved down to his jaw, kissing and laving my tongue over the spot just below his ear, and he was whimpering, clutching at my back desperately.

 

i moved down, giving the same attention to his neck and then his collar bones, tugging at his shirt.

 

"'you still in it to win it?" i asked, and he laughed, kissing me again before shucking his shirt.

 

his air changed suddenly. he was self conscious of his lanky frame, so i made sure to rake my eyes over his chest, then kissing him heatedly, running my fingers across his ribs and nipples and stomach, which fluttered beneath my touch.

 

he spread his legs so i could sit between them, so i pressed my straining erection against his, feeling him moan against my mouth. i let my hand wander down to ghost over his crotch, and he pressed his pelvis into my palm.

 

i groped him firmly, rubbing circles into the swell of his trapped cock until he was panting and rutting down on my hand, begging softly for more.

 

i pulled back, though we were still so close that to look at each other we nearly had to go cross-eyed.

 

"tell me what you want, john," i whispered, rubbing his bulge as he fumbled for words.

 

"i want you," he replied breathily as i mouthed at his neck.

 

"any specifics? you've got me, now what?"

 

he stuttered, his eyebrows drawing together.

 

"i-i don't know--"

 

"it's okay, baby, take your time, there's no rush," i cajoled, kissing a path across his chest.

 

he was already caught up in my actions once again, the question forgotten.

  i chuckled against his skin, nipping at his collarbone as i ventured down to his waistband, meeting his eyes as i pushed at them.

 

he nodded, grabbing the elastic and shyly slipping them off, kicking them away.

 

i gawked at his naked form, his sharp hip bones, his leaking cock straining against his pelvis.

 

"fuck, you're beautiful," i breathed, watching him blush pink as i nosed at the base of his cock. i tongued at his slit, keeping eye contact as i slowly took him down my throat, spreading his legs apart as i swirled my tongue around the shaft.

 

he moaned, body already tensing in preparation for his release. i felt my cock twitch in my jeans as i bobbed my head and played with his balls.

 

he cried out when he came, grabbing my hair and throwing his head back, his spine arching.

 

i swallowed his cum, leaning up to kiss him as he came down from his high. he kissed me feverishly, cupping the back of my head with his hand. _god,_ _you're sexy._ _i_ thought, kneading the skin of his thigh with my thumb. he pulled back with a goofy grin.

 

"you're calling me sexy when i have only your face for reference, which is sexier than mine by far."

 

"sounds like bias, but fair."

 

he thought for a moment before grabbing my ass firmly through my jeans, making me gasp.

 

"i've been wanting to do that since 6th grade," he breathed, "you're so fucking hot."

 

"this ass is all yours, baby," i replied huskily, kissing him again as he kneaded my cheeks. this kiss was electric, and i sensed that it was because he was finally gaining confidence in himself. and because he was getting hard again.

 

he suddenly flipped us so that i was lying beneath him. i hooked my legs around his hips, but he had a better idea.

 

he pulled my shirt off, taking a moment to admire my physique before unbuckling my belt, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, his eagerness obvious between his legs.

 

i helped him push my pants off, taking my boxers with them.

 

" _shit,_ " he whispered, practically salivating over me, which made me blush.

 

"finally," he announced, kissing me hard and gripping my cock loosely.

 

i let out a groan as he pumped my dick, my legs falling apart as i curled my hand in his hair.

 

i let out low, throaty moans as he squeezed and ran his thumb over the head as precum oozed out.

 

his movements were slow, but i wanted more.

 

"i'm gonna cum if you don't quit it," i groaned, and he grinned against my shoulder, placing a kiss there.

 

"that's the plan."

 

"oh _fuck,_ " i cried out as he started pumping fast, his rough palm giving me the gritty friction i needed.

 

at this point i was fucking his hand, but he seemed to be enjoying it, so i pushed our cocks together, adding my hand to the fuck-tunnel.

 

we were moaning lewdly, and i kissed him, though it was all tongue.

 

i felt my orgasm approaching at rapid speeds, my balls tightening as i grasped john's ass tightly.

 

"shit-- _JOHN_!" i moaned out, cumming in our hands as he milked my orgasm, climaxing as well.

 

i watched his eyes roll back into his head as his mouth dropped open, his orgasm making him see stars.

 

once he collapsed on my chest, i wrapped my arms around him, holding him as he came down.

 

"wow."

 

i burst out laughing, pressing a kiss to his hair as i chuckled quietly.

 

"that's it?"

 

"i can't even feel my legs, isaac. i'm sure i could come up with a shakespearean sonnet once i regained consciousness, but for now let's stick with that."

 

he was smiling into my shoulder, and i rubbed circles into his back.

 

"we should listen to nirvana more often."

 

he laughed, sitting up and pressing his lips to mine.

 

this kiss was sweet, like a whispered promise. this kiss asked if this was the end. my reply? never in a million years.

 

**Author's Note:**

> mr. mulaney i love u uwu i'm just a sexually confused teenager who thought she was a lesbian and then realized she could fall in love with a man because of you so --
> 
> anyways ! hahaha ! um . this isn't an assumption of john's sexuality, this is entirely fiction . i always just think of john as a Big Bisexual Disaster ™ so i put that into whatever this monstrosity is .


End file.
